49. The Power of Belonging Through Self-Care

Jana: 0:00

Welcome Amber. Back to the show.

Amber: 0:02

Thank you so much, i appreciate it.

Jana: 0:05

Amber, I’m just going to keep jumping right into these questions because I want to just use your brain right now to feed the world, because self-love and self-care is so important And I don’t think people understand that the whole time we’ve been talking about the secret to falling on love. We’ve been talking about the secret to falling in love with yourself. Yes, absolutely. So let’s just jump right into the very first question What are your thoughts on self-care?

Amber: 0:30

Okay. So first of all, let me just give you some stats And I could not believe this when I actually read this But in 2017, so pre-pandemic, this is going to date this podcast, but that’s okay. Pre-pandemic 2017, the second leading cause of death in ages between 15 and 34 was suicide, but guess what? In 2020, it jumped up to number one. Now you would think that the older we get, the more we realize that we need to take care of ourselves, but in 2021, the two main causes of death for people over 35 was first cancer, then heart disease, which I think a lot of us play into a part of, and then, right after that, was suicide. I think if we took better care of ourselves, those numbers would look drastically different. People think that self-care is what we do to relax, but it’s more than that. We see a lot of people thinking that they need to take a whole day at the spa or do hours of work for them in order for them to have better physical and mental wellness, but really, it’s the smaller daily things that we do to help our mental and physical health that makes the biggest impacts.

Jana: 1:58

I love that question because when I hear people talk about self-care, they think that it’s like a whole day going to the spa which, by the way, that is beautiful self-care. But it could be as simple as getting up 15 minutes early to just sit reading one of your favorite books or journaling or focusing on you, like what is my body need today. It’s so simple to take those little steps. It doesn’t have to be a big deal thing, right, right? So let’s talk a little bit about meaningful self-care. What do you mean when you talk about meaningful self-care?

Amber: 2:31

Okay, So first of all, let’s talk about what is not meaningful. I need to tell you what the difference is here. Okay, so and I guess it’s different for every person but let me tell you my personal opinion on this. Fetching out on the couch for hours, binging on Netflix, is not what I would consider meaningful self-care. A lot of times, we do that because we have reached burnout and our brains and bodies cannot take it anymore, and so we stop engaging in life altogether. Meaningful self-care is doing something for your current self, to relax, but also out of love for your future self. When you are caring for your future self, this usually takes effort, and it’s typically the first thing to go when we are exhausted. At least, that’s what happens to me anyway. On the nights, when I am not managing my time and I am a plate, my desire to care for my skin and my teeth and my mind goes way down. In fact, it just goes way down the tube. The later it gets, the less I want to do for myself before my head hits that pillow. Meaningful self-care is taking care of yourself with respect, sticking to a consistent sleep schedule, taking care of your emotional needs, staying on target with your goals and not allowing other people to disrespect you, and that includes not disrespecting yourself.

Jana: 4:21

I love it. I’m going to ask you for a couple of maybe tips for people to do some meaningful self-care so they can understand like a couple steps they can take. Having said that, when I was raising four children, getting self-care in was almost impossible. You’re wearing all the hats, right. You’re working, you’re taking care of your kids, you’re like providing everything. I literally, for me, had to set my clock for 5 am because that means I could hit the shower where they were sleeping. I could have my first cup of coffee out on the porch. We lived in the mounds. It was beautiful And I could sit there with my cup of coffee and just breathe in in the peace and quiet before the morning started. And that was my gift to myself. And I did not regret doing the 5 o’clock thing, because set my day And so that was how I gave back to myself something that wasn’t expensive. That said I love you, let’s have this time before the kids wake up and need everything from you. Let’s just take care of you first. What were some tips that you might give?

Amber: 5:15

Yeah, absolutely. So I’m even just thinking about what I did for myself today, because I have to tell you, i was kind of nervous about doing this podcast, because I still struggle with my own self-confidence, because I know, okay, i’m going to have my back, and sometimes it’s a matter of going through my own mantras, and so I turned on. I have a power playlist that I listen to, and so, in order to get myself a little more with my own back, i guess just feeling stoked about that And so I pumped that up and I went into the shower and I’m dancing around And, anyways, definitely, choose to have fun, figure out a way to have fun. We all know that our brain does so much better when we are having fun and we take some of the worry out of it. As soon as we put worry in, our brain just stops. Mine freezes Like absolutely. I love that. You said that you just take that moment for yourself. I will get up in the morning and I will exercise, and then I take my dogs for a walk, and so that’s kind of how I take care of them. But taking care of them also takes care of me, you know. And so that’s another one, and a lot of people don’t like this, but sometimes I just need to look myself in the mirror And this is really uncomfortable at first. But I’ve got to look myself in the mirror and just say, all right, amar, what’s going on? How are we doing today? Do we do a little messy? You know, we’re a little bit of a mess or a little bit of amazing, and sometimes it is just a matter of while I’m putting on my lotion or, you know, as I’m laying in bed. Another thing of self care that I do for my own body acceptance is when I’m lying in bed. I literally tried to fill myself within my body, to really appreciate my body and what it is, and not for how it’s looking.

Jana: 7:12

Amber shows up big and she brought a gift for everybody, so I’m going to give her a minute to tell you about the gift and how they can learn more.

Amber: 7:19

Absolutely. Thank you so much. All right, if you want to know more, if you have questions, anything, please come to my free yes, i said it, free webinar. Now, this webinar, i’m going to teach you a little bit And then I’m going to allow you to ask questions, and then I will have one, and maybe two free giveaways as well. So come, learn how to create deeper belonging within yourself. It is so necessary. Learn how to embrace yourself. You’re beautiful, amazing, authentic self. Learn how to cultivate self compassion. It is something you need to learn and practice. You just can’t do it. So come, learn all of these things. It’s going to be 30 minutes of your time and it will be time well spent. You are worth that investment, at least.

Jana: 8:18

So not only do I love this, this is going to fall directly under something we just talked about, meaningful self care. This is a gift for yourself to shine, to show up, to get confident and step out into that world. By the way, it’s a constant struggle. Once we feel like we’re there, something dings our armor a little bit. That old part of us comes back up, and we have to practice this every day. So I hope that all of you hop into this program. It is amazing because it’s for you, nobody else. It’s for you. It’s a gift to yourself, absolutely. Thank you so much for being on the show.

Amber: 8:55

We love you. Thank you, Janna. I love you guys. Thank you so much for being here.

If you’re looking for a life coach, I’d love to be yours.  If you want to lose weight, better your relationships, or need help with crafting your confidence, I’ve got you!  go to myinnerlove.com and sign up for a free mini-session today.

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